Alrite.... first up..... i have finally sorted out all my doubts ... woots ....

Life is pretty bright of the past week back at SAFTI preparing for my commission parade on the 13th dec, except for the fact i had a bad ankle sprain on thurs and had to go to NUH. i would be kidding if i tell u i wasnt afraid, at first i thought it was just a sprain which hurt like hurt but after i tried taking a few step and i cant walk, i start to be afraid that i broke my ankle especially seeing how swollen it became.... Even the medical officer think that may have fracture. At that moment i was pretty devastated, if i have a long term injury i probably wun be able to take part in the parade.

Ok, one thing straight, commission parade and the commission ball is pretty much what every single cadet look forward to and work towards to for the past 9 months , the day u march out in front of our parents, with all your pride and the president ( or ministers ) commission you to be an officer of the SAF. It is quite a big event and to tell me that i cant go for if just cause of a stupid morning jog.... it will pretty much kill me.

Aniway, my bones were pretty strong so it is alrite.... Haha......
Want to ask u to come to the parade, but guess u probably wun
Aniway Sek is back ! Met up with him ytd .... 9 months in Aus but still the same old crazy ass.... knew him since Primary 4, as we would always sit all the way back in the class together, playin and toking bout all sort of nonsenses....

Thought alot during the past weeks when i was "off", realised that pretty much what drive us on is hope, just like how i push myself on for the past 9 months to become an officer. Hope actually made us feel more alive as it promises something better for us in the future and not being stagnant.... Ever since that i am nearing the commission i guess i lost my aim and had nothing to hope for.... but i know now i should take a step forward and start learning how to be an adult, improve myself, and start fulfilling those stuffs which i said i wuld do when i grow up. Time to start taking steps to achieve my dreams........

11:56 PM

The whole week just passed by feeling moodless.....

Commissioning soon, everyone seems to be happy except me.... maybe it is the fact that its going to be over or maybe its that i not sure what to do from now ... or maybe both ?

9 months of training in OCS, tough, hellish at times, but undeniably bonds were forged and the things experienced are unforgettable. Most people probably don't even understand half of the things we do, the effort we put in, the stress we had, something which was never experienced in the 20 years of my life......

Spending days in the wild, dirty, uncomfortable, tired, smelly but still having to push on and think, do planning, etc. Everything will probably soon become a distant memory, which was probably what sadden me like how when everything come to an end.

Spacing out alot nowadays, preferring to be alone most of the time, pondering on what to do next. Life seems colourless..... now that i finished what which had motivated me for the past 9 months.......

Seem to lost interest in everything.............

3:02 AM

I needa save money !! Comms ball cost a bomb..... and i still needa spend some money on clothes for comms ball.... Haiz.... time for some financial planning....

Comms ball is still a month away but it had already been the main topic all the cadets is toking about... After all it is like one of the most impt event to us and everyone hope to bring their loved ones to it. Doesnt help when most of their girlfriend broke up with them after they go NS and the girl is in uni. Seems like it is quite hard to maintain a relationship in NS.... especially when the girl is in Uni and will meet other guys. Years of relationship just go down the drain like this..... Sad ...

Ok.... enough about the sad stuffs.... Well probably gotta report who is my comms ball date.... some of u all probably noe already, it is ..... ********* Haha =P not gonna tell u ~ (Dudes u all will probably harass me if u all find who she is)

Aniway, my coms parade is on 13th dec, president will be there, prime minister will be there, the perm sec will be there, i will be there, and YOU are invited to be there will all these big shots ........ haha

12:14 AM

My nose is falling off .........

Had flu today, went for the talk at expo, was almost asleep throughout =X well i guess i was sick and naturally felt sleepy. Cant take it ........

Well booking in soon is probably the worst feeling, damn siannnnnnnnnnn...... my boots are still not shiny yet ... guess i am screwed... probably spend my whole night later when i book in to polish it... till nxt morning ba .... hahah.

Feeling kinda lost .... dunnoe what to do....... life starting to grow dull . How !?
I wish u are my coms ball partner
I wish i am having flu becuz u are thinking of me
But all is just wishful thinking ba

4:02 AM

WHY !!!!!!

WHY !!!!!!!!!

WHY !!!!!!!!!!!

WHY IS MY COMS BALL ON THE 20TH !?!?

WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYTHING IS OVER B4 I COULD DO ANYTHING

7:01 AM

Time now : 7.30 am

Got home at about 6.30 am. Reason : Cuz i got confined !! For 3 weeks in a row my long weekend is burnt....cant believe how suay am i. I was so sure of booking out on friday that i already packed my bag on thurs... well but the wsm just had to wait till just b4 we book out to go crazy and confine us for stupid reasons...

Aniway yesterday was suppose to celebrate martin's bday. Sorry dude, murphy's law just have to kick in.. looking forward to the party actually .. didnt see how sad i was ytd when i knew we are confined... just stoned on my bed with lights off till i doze off...

OCS is ending, i am lost... startin to be unsure of what to do. For the past one year i had been so occupied with NS that i have lost touched with many things and NS just became a HUGE part of my life (that sounds miserable)

Compiled a list of things i want recently ( i was realli free .... and bored )

1. PS3
2. HDTV in my room
3. Nice watch
4. New Com
5. Asic shoe or Salcony
6. Sennheiser headphone
7. Join a volunteer group
8. Nikon D80
9. Learn photography
10. Go overseas; bagpack
11. Watch tons of movies; Coffin, Quantum and HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ( nupe i am NOT childish )
12. Run standard chart 42 km run ( T.T impossible to cuz i got live firing that day )
13. My mum to stop naggin ( As impossible as number 12 )
14. SAF to give me more $$ ( And the impossible list goes on )
15. World Domination ! Muwahah ( Sorry watching power ranger now ... )
16. Start learning how to act like a 21 ( first... stop watching power ranger ...)
17. Know what to buy for my dad's bday ( About time i stop buying choco for his bday)
18. Save money
19. Study for SAT
20. Go uni
21. To Know More About U
22. To Understand U
23. To Make U Happy
24. YOU

A long list ..... time to go about acomplishing them ...

3:36 PM

A fun halloween, a nice sat duty back at camp( weekend duty is suppose to be a sad chore, but sumhow due to some reasons, it was nice ~) , a good swimming session with xx = GOOD MOOD

2:20 AM