Convenient that this is still around, was never one who can properly keep a diary, but guess this is the closest i have to one. Much had happened, great stuffs, sweet stuffs, memorable stuff, and i just wanna forget about them now.
Funny it took me just a 7 hours plane ride and a movie called "500 days of summer" come to a closure on this "situation" ( well, cant call it a relationship and am too lazy to find out what is the best word to describe this mess ). I thought to myself, i definitely can relate to the film, and i guess maybe i am just not the right one, or the time is not right, or in fact, everything is wrong, either way, it is time to forget and move on. RIGHT ON .... time to pack the feelings and leave them in Australia. As long as she stay happy, i guess it is truly enough for me. ( No bullshit, i used to think it is bullshit that guys will just wish a girl who fucked up his entire existence to be truly happy. But i have to suck up this bullshit as i am feeling the same way now. I REALLY WANT HER TO BE HAPPY ) ( Now this definitely sounds like an idiot talking. )
I LOVE singapore. True and definitely the most random shit to start a paragraph with. Well, the way i was brimming with expectation and joy at the notion of coming back to Singapore from Australia did much to attest to the I love singapore part. Now, i just cant wait to leave Singapore and leave everything behind. I was never one who deals well with heartache, maybe this is exaggerating, given the fact that i was beasically going all around Singapore and having fun ( or try having fun ) the very moment i touch down. Much of this can be attributed to my great pals who drove my car to pick me up at 3.40 in the morning. We went to east coast did all kinds of ridiculous stuffs, then home followed by queensways, angmokio, and capped off with the most horrifying movie i ever watched.
It should have been great by any account. BUT IT ISN'T. My heart just literally feel like getting stabbed at every place at every thought. At queensway , i saw IKEA which reminded me on how we spent so much time deciding on where to eat, from wanting to go geylang, ikea, then ending up in the hong kong cafe to eat. At ang mo kio, i saw the trailers of " drag me to hell " ( GOD, the show ended eons ago and they had to show it still ) It was the first movie i watched with her alone. Fate was unforgiving when they had to show the trailers of ice age, land of the lost, the proposal, ( cant remb the rest due to excessive loss of blood coming from my heart ). Flashbacks were aplenty. Even small things like talking to Alex about getting a chalet in Sentosa jotted up the memory. We were suppose to go sentosa tgth, damn .... this whole shituation started when i talked to her bout sentosa. The final blow came in the cinema. " Paranormal Activity" is definitely the scariest movie EVER. And how i wish i could see her watch the show. Even pictured her gasp. Sweet... always hated it when i gets more scared.
I feel numb now. Well, one things for sure, it will definitely pass as of all things in life. just that how long. Time to cap off.
