Can't think of a blog title leh...

Summer come and goes

2009-11-07T22:29:00.002-08:00

Convenient that this is still around, was never one who can properly keep a diary, but guess this is the closest i have to one. Much had happened, great stuffs, sweet stuffs, memorable stuff, and i just wanna forget about them now.

Funny it took me just a 7 hours plane ride and a movie called "500 days of summer" come to a closure on this "situation" ( well, cant call it a relationship and am too lazy to find out what is the best word to describe this mess ). I thought to myself, i definitely can relate to the film, and i guess maybe i am just not the right one, or the time is not right, or in fact, everything is wrong, either way, it is time to forget and move on. RIGHT ON .... time to pack the feelings and leave them in Australia. As long as she stay happy, i guess it is truly enough for me. ( No bullshit, i used to think it is bullshit that guys will just wish a girl who fucked up his entire existence to be truly happy. But i have to suck up this bullshit as i am feeling the same way now. I REALLY WANT HER TO BE HAPPY ) ( Now this definitely sounds like an idiot talking. )

I LOVE singapore. True and definitely the most random shit to start a paragraph with. Well, the way i was brimming with expectation and joy at the notion of coming back to Singapore from Australia did much to attest to the I love singapore part. Now, i just cant wait to leave Singapore and leave everything behind. I was never one who deals well with heartache, maybe this is exaggerating, given the fact that i was beasically going all around Singapore and having fun ( or try having fun ) the very moment i touch down. Much of this can be attributed to my great pals who drove my car to pick me up at 3.40 in the morning. We went to east coast did all kinds of ridiculous stuffs, then home followed by queensways, angmokio, and capped off with the most horrifying movie i ever watched.

It should have been great by any account. BUT IT ISN'T. My heart just literally feel like getting stabbed at every place at every thought. At queensway , i saw IKEA which reminded me on how we spent so much time deciding on where to eat, from wanting to go geylang, ikea, then ending up in the hong kong cafe to eat. At ang mo kio, i saw the trailers of " drag me to hell " ( GOD, the show ended eons ago and they had to show it still ) It was the first movie i watched with her alone. Fate was unforgiving when they had to show the trailers of ice age, land of the lost, the proposal, ( cant remb the rest due to excessive loss of blood coming from my heart ). Flashbacks were aplenty. Even small things like talking to Alex about getting a chalet in Sentosa jotted up the memory. We were suppose to go sentosa tgth, damn .... this whole shituation started when i talked to her bout sentosa. The final blow came in the cinema. " Paranormal Activity" is definitely the scariest movie EVER. And how i wish i could see her watch the show. Even pictured her gasp. Sweet... always hated it when i gets more scared.

I feel numb now. Well, one things for sure, it will definitely pass as of all things in life. just that how long. Time to cap off.

2009-11-07T22:29:00.001-08:00

Once in a while.....

2009-03-16T06:10:00.000-07:00

Cant believe its onli one month plus since i last blogged, felt like its a distant memory, and lots had happened since then...

Much more comfortable with the role of being an officer now, started to retake my driving ( hopefully can finish in 3 months time), went back to volunteering, had lots of fun, goin germany nxt week ( the land of cheap beer! ).

Felt great to be back to volunteering, this time its at old folks home, quite different compared to VSA mainly due to the communication part, as much as the old folks like to talk to us and stuff, i am not that good with dialect, in fact i cant speak them.. haha. NS has pretty much eroded all my communication skills as i am like a small boy waiting for them to talk to me instead. Haha well maybe i shuld go back to VSA where having patience is enough....

Been partying alot lately too, week in week out, there wuld also be ppl jio-in me, be it my NS pals or my old frens. About time to stop all these late night stuffs and start sleeping ~ and saving up money of cuz ....

NXT WK : GERMANY ! thhhrreeeee weekss...... its realli long................

emotions just fades.....

2009-02-01T06:11:00.000-08:00

Chinese new year just went past in a blink of an eye.... it used to be the time of the year which i would look forward to and enjoy it the most... however somehow nowadays all the festivals seems ever so normal...

Maybe i am grown up now, and many things just doesn't excites me as much as it used to.... emotions fades as with age and growing to be numb to many things..... excitement and hope are replaced with worries and stress...... all seem like part and parcel of growing up.

Yesterday was primers DnD, saw the hard work which weiling they all put in to the event, regardless of the turnout or what, their efforts are there for all to see, just hope they can enjoy their remaining time in primers and their friendships and bond will continue even after they pass on the baton....

DnD was great, especially the skit and video. Wanted to stay with them after it but already made plans to go city alive with wei ming jiun hoe and kyna. City alive was expectedly boring..... haha, but i enjoyed watched the dance performance though. Dj werent that good though...

Saw alot of my past photos in the video, i guess i really did change alot, lost abit weight, my sense of humor was also shaved away as the age seeps in, so were my carefree attitude. How i wish that the clock can turn back, and the future not look so bleak and unforgiving.

and how i wish i can see you again

Hopes tomorrow nvr comes...

2009-01-18T21:57:00.000-08:00

Cant describe how much i am dreading tmr... returning back to camp, exactly like how a student dread his test day... pretty much sums up my situation.... exactly i feel the moral responsibility to be good (burden of the rank and expectations).

Realized that many things are like take for granted, just like how students expect their teachers to know everything about the subject, doctors are expected to know how to treat a patient in the best manner... etc. Officers are expected to be able to lead, be good at everything and knows his stuffs.....just not the case... we are still human being, falleable and make mistakes. How i wish i was still a student... Hahaha...

Tired of the office, the expectations, the amount of work being push to us to do; part and parcel of an adult. Well, despite all thesze complains i still went for the interview to be a regular. Yep, i decided to sign-on. Not that i love my life here, in fact i don't really like it, but it is the best and fastest route for me to accomplish my dream. I just need to tolerate and work hard for these 3 years....

I will do what i can, to at least work towards my dream....after life would probably be meaningless if u dun have a dream and work towards it.......

I am stress....

2009-01-11T03:15:00.000-08:00

Just realized, nothing can be worst than having expectations piled on you......

i know so little, and with my limited ability, i must lead these platoon of men who are probably ten times more experience than me..... Sucks

Have been reading and studying as much as i can ( YES! I AM STUDYING )(FIRST TIME IN THE 22 YEARS OF BREATHING, I AM PUTTING SO MUCH EFFORT INTO STUDYING !), just not enough, just not confident enough......

Sucks.......I feel tired ... and sick .. and my ankle seems to be suffering from stress injury ( thanks to the lack of care i showed it when i sprain it the last time )

Sucks to be me ..... Dec ... come quickly .... Looking forward to retirement ... haha

Transition ... time to grow up ...

2009-01-02T13:11:00.000-08:00

Ok ... i am 22 ( time to face the reality, didnt realli want to but ... all the bday wish constantly reminded me ) haha... cant say i am thrilled about being 22. But thanks to all the well wishes and everyone who celebrated with me ... =D

As years goes, and the amt of big candles u see on ur cake grows, cant help but to admit its time to be more serious bout stuffs... haha. Time to work hard for my future.... time to take care of my family... let my dad retire.... drive them out for a movie... etc etc. Well my birthday resolution (coupled with new year resolutions):

-Finish my driving and get my license ( probably overdue by 3 years )
-Start my first company (small one of cuz)
-STOP PARTYING! as in only for some special occasion ( Friday is definitely not a special occasion, same to free flow nights ) ( LEARN TO SAY NO WHEN FRENS ASK ME TO PARTY )
-Start learning ( Catch up on my reading )
-Watch more movies with my parents
-GO back to volunteer service
-Bagpack overseas
-Join the standchart 42km run Plus PREPARE for next year's sundown 84km !
-Help change someone's life... for the better, of course...

These are probably all i have.... plus the standard few which have been part of my resolutions( /wishes) for the past 22 years.... like become trillionaire rich, date a super-hot Brazilian model, learn how to fly, world domination , etc etc ... list goes on .....

grow old with you ~~

2008-12-29T00:03:00.000-08:00

This song is like trapped in my head ever since i watch "the wedding singer". Sweet lyrics.
Found out she got a boyfriend, abit stupid to be affected by it, after all havent seen her for the past 2 years
Makes u wonder, it wuld be nice to have someone u realli love. Haha as i am saying all these, xiuxing is probably thousand of miles away in germany with charlotte. Ahhh, goes to show, nothing really matters if the two really love each other; race, distances, looks, language.....
Thought i have forgotten bout her... apparently not, i guess...... Goes to show, nothing happens if u do nothing and soon she is gone with someonesle
Going to be 22 soon ( hate to admit it ). Haiz i am depressed.... so fast 22 le...... soon wrinkles will appear and my daily routine will be sitting on a rocking chair and playing chess in the void deck ... NOOOOooooooo ~

Bored...bored... damn bored

2008-12-28T06:03:00.000-08:00

I am bored .... Haha not used to having so much time.... and being so poor as i am now ( due to ALL the celebrations, the coms ball, certainly burn up all the money in my coffers), i even miss the trip with alex and sek to malaysia... haiz ....... oh well, i get to do a countdown and spend more time with my family on the bright side....

I want to join the 84 km marathon !! Haha sounds crazy enough and judging that i am still not fully recovered from my sprain ( still cant last running longer than 30 mins ), guess i will put it off and just aim to do the 42km next year.... hopefully can pull off some good timings....

Time to go training then...........

Zooey Deschanel !!!

2008-12-25T22:02:00.000-08:00

Watched Yes man yesterday, became a fan of zooey deschanel, she became my dream girl (or at least her character) ~ Haha

Suddenly in mood for romance movie, so went on to watch wedding singer at home....Great movie......

U probably wondering why i have so much time to do all these, ITs CUZ I AM ON LEAVE TILL 4TH NEXT YEAR! WOOTS.... Haha feels great to be slacking around again. So much happened since13th dec when i commissioned, there was zoukout, where i had a time of my life partyin with xiuxing, sek and martin, then one week of block leave which was spent mostly at camphobic( great fun to be with primers), my coms ball, which was relatively fun, delivery for Sgb (Tiring since i was at coms ball then night before and onli had like 2 hrs of rest), my first two days reporting at 48SAR as an officer, christmas eve with the primers gang again (fun to see jiamin wenya yujing they all again)

Just knew that my posting was coy 1 PC, and suddenly felt quite scared, probably from all the responsibilities, it is in a different league compared to my time leading in primers, in all other events or situations, the man depend on you even though they are probably more experienced and well trained in the machine compared to u. Been studyin abit to catch up with them. Knowing that they will have to depend on u in times of war.... u cant let them down. Thats probably why i have been tryin so hard. Will be goin off to germany for 3 wks at feb, partially excited, partially scared, partially sad........3 weeks is long .........................................................

Date : 30th Nov....... 2 more weeks

2008-11-29T23:56:00.001-08:00

Alrite.... first up..... i have finally sorted out all my doubts ... woots ....

Life is pretty bright of the past week back at SAFTI preparing for my commission parade on the 13th dec, except for the fact i had a bad ankle sprain on thurs and had to go to NUH. i would be kidding if i tell u i wasnt afraid, at first i thought it was just a sprain which hurt like hurt but after i tried taking a few step and i cant walk, i start to be afraid that i broke my ankle especially seeing how swollen it became.... Even the medical officer think that may have fracture. At that moment i was pretty devastated, if i have a long term injury i probably wun be able to take part in the parade.

Ok, one thing straight, commission parade and the commission ball is pretty much what every single cadet look forward to and work towards to for the past 9 months , the day u march out in front of our parents, with all your pride and the president ( or ministers ) commission you to be an officer of the SAF. It is quite a big event and to tell me that i cant go for if just cause of a stupid morning jog.... it will pretty much kill me.

Aniway, my bones were pretty strong so it is alrite.... Haha......
Want to ask u to come to the parade, but guess u probably wun
Aniway Sek is back ! Met up with him ytd .... 9 months in Aus but still the same old crazy ass.... knew him since Primary 4, as we would always sit all the way back in the class together, playin and toking bout all sort of nonsenses....

Thought alot during the past weeks when i was "off", realised that pretty much what drive us on is hope, just like how i push myself on for the past 9 months to become an officer. Hope actually made us feel more alive as it promises something better for us in the future and not being stagnant.... Ever since that i am nearing the commission i guess i lost my aim and had nothing to hope for.... but i know now i should take a step forward and start learning how to be an adult, improve myself, and start fulfilling those stuffs which i said i wuld do when i grow up. Time to start taking steps to achieve my dreams........

Moodless.....

2008-11-23T03:02:00.000-08:00

The whole week just passed by feeling moodless.....

Commissioning soon, everyone seems to be happy except me.... maybe it is the fact that its going to be over or maybe its that i not sure what to do from now ... or maybe both ?

9 months of training in OCS, tough, hellish at times, but undeniably bonds were forged and the things experienced are unforgettable. Most people probably don't even understand half of the things we do, the effort we put in, the stress we had, something which was never experienced in the 20 years of my life......

Spending days in the wild, dirty, uncomfortable, tired, smelly but still having to push on and think, do planning, etc. Everything will probably soon become a distant memory, which was probably what sadden me like how when everything come to an end.

Spacing out alot nowadays, preferring to be alone most of the time, pondering on what to do next. Life seems colourless..... now that i finished what which had motivated me for the past 9 months.......

Seem to lost interest in everything.............

Weekend Rant....

2008-11-16T00:14:00.000-08:00

I needa save money !! Comms ball cost a bomb..... and i still needa spend some money on clothes for comms ball.... Haiz.... time for some financial planning....

Comms ball is still a month away but it had already been the main topic all the cadets is toking about... After all it is like one of the most impt event to us and everyone hope to bring their loved ones to it. Doesnt help when most of their girlfriend broke up with them after they go NS and the girl is in uni. Seems like it is quite hard to maintain a relationship in NS.... especially when the girl is in Uni and will meet other guys. Years of relationship just go down the drain like this..... Sad ...

Ok.... enough about the sad stuffs.... Well probably gotta report who is my comms ball date.... some of u all probably noe already, it is ..... ********* Haha =P not gonna tell u ~ (Dudes u all will probably harass me if u all find who she is)

Aniway, my coms parade is on 13th dec, president will be there, prime minister will be there, the perm sec will be there, i will be there, and YOU are invited to be there will all these big shots ........ haha

I am SICK ~~

2008-11-09T04:02:00.000-08:00

My nose is falling off .........

Had flu today, went for the talk at expo, was almost asleep throughout =X well i guess i was sick and naturally felt sleepy. Cant take it ........

Well booking in soon is probably the worst feeling, damn siannnnnnnnnnn...... my boots are still not shiny yet ... guess i am screwed... probably spend my whole night later when i book in to polish it... till nxt morning ba .... hahah.

Feeling kinda lost .... dunnoe what to do....... life starting to grow dull . How !?
I wish u are my coms ball partner
I wish i am having flu becuz u are thinking of me
But all is just wishful thinking ba

UTIMATE SIANNESS..... PINNACLE OF SADNESS

2008-11-08T07:01:00.000-08:00

WHY !!!!!!

WHY !!!!!!!!!

WHY !!!!!!!!!!!

WHY IS MY COMS BALL ON THE 20TH !?!?

WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYTHING IS OVER B4 I COULD DO ANYTHING

One month left........ and the chapter ends...

2008-11-07T15:36:00.000-08:00

Time now : 7.30 am

Got home at about 6.30 am. Reason : Cuz i got confined !! For 3 weeks in a row my long weekend is burnt....cant believe how suay am i. I was so sure of booking out on friday that i already packed my bag on thurs... well but the wsm just had to wait till just b4 we book out to go crazy and confine us for stupid reasons...

Aniway yesterday was suppose to celebrate martin's bday. Sorry dude, murphy's law just have to kick in.. looking forward to the party actually .. didnt see how sad i was ytd when i knew we are confined... just stoned on my bed with lights off till i doze off...

OCS is ending, i am lost... startin to be unsure of what to do. For the past one year i had been so occupied with NS that i have lost touched with many things and NS just became a HUGE part of my life (that sounds miserable)

Compiled a list of things i want recently ( i was realli free .... and bored )

1. PS3
2. HDTV in my room
3. Nice watch
4. New Com
5. Asic shoe or Salcony
6. Sennheiser headphone
7. Join a volunteer group
8. Nikon D80
9. Learn photography
10. Go overseas; bagpack
11. Watch tons of movies; Coffin, Quantum and HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ( nupe i am NOT childish )
12. Run standard chart 42 km run ( T.T impossible to cuz i got live firing that day )
13. My mum to stop naggin ( As impossible as number 12 )
14. SAF to give me more $$ ( And the impossible list goes on )
15. World Domination ! Muwahah ( Sorry watching power ranger now ... )
16. Start learning how to act like a 21 ( first... stop watching power ranger ...)
17. Know what to buy for my dad's bday ( About time i stop buying choco for his bday)
18. Save money
19. Study for SAT
20. Go uni
21. To Know More About U
22. To Understand U
23. To Make U Happy
24. YOU

A long list ..... time to go about acomplishing them ...

Current mood: happy

2008-11-02T02:20:00.001-08:00

A fun halloween, a nice sat duty back at camp( weekend duty is suppose to be a sad chore, but sumhow due to some reasons, it was nice ~) , a good swimming session with xx = GOOD MOOD

HALLOWEEN !!

2008-10-31T03:42:00.000-07:00

WOOTs ! its halloween today. But sadly tmr i will be do duty back at camp as punishment T.T . Dun ask what did i do, let just say i was slightly mischievous. Anyway looking on a bright side, had an rather early book out today, so can enjoy and go party later ( its halloween ~ i may be broke now but still.... by improvising, i suppose i can come out with a nice costume. )

Finally ... commissioning soon. Everyone in camp is in a commissions mood now. Cant wait to commission in the parade square and let my parent put on my rank. This is probably what motivated me to go OCS in the first place. To make my parents proud and try to experience and see my limit. Well however once it is all over, i guess it will be rather sad and lonely.. true lar, the 9 months of training was indeed tough and both mentally and physically challenging but through it, friendship was born. The past 9 months was probably all bout OCS, i didnt realli have much time for other things. Now that it is over, i guess i gotta start thinking about what to do ..... Hmmmm....

We are all pretty tight in the tankee course, 20 ppl and hellish training seems to be to best way to bond ppl. Hahah, anyway now that most of the training is done, we are mostly chilling and playing in our bunks talking who to ask to go for our coms ball. Coms ball is a huge headache for most, well cuz we have to bring a partner for coms ball ! Hahah plus it cost like 500 for coms ball ( that is why i am broke T.T ) .

Haiz enough about my camp, been rather troubled for the past few days.....

Well my sister seems to want to go oversea attachment ! Very much ! how can i not be worried when my sister is goin oversea by herself for 6 months !?!?! how she even goin to take care of herself when she dun even noe how to do chores or cook; last time when our parents go oversea , it is alway me cooking for her and stuff .... HOW SHE GONNA SURVIVE ?! PLUS ONE GIRL OVERSEA !!!!! SHE CANT EVEN DEFEND HERSELF.

ok..... i noe i may have over-reacted ( OR NOT ).... but seriously...........

ok to be truthful, i think i have been alittle overprotective in this. She is already 18 and should be old enough to noe what she want. But somehow, i cant help but be worried, she is my onli sis afterall.......... a part of me is worried dun want her to go and another ( the most rationale and sensible part ) feels that i shuld support her wish.

Guess i am realli childish as a bro ba .... cant make myself to go support her.....................

ANYWAY MY SIS SHULDNT KNOW ABOUT ALL THESE ............ ANYONE WHO TELL HER WILL _____ ( FILL IN THE BLANK WITH THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY U SEE URSELF DIE )

Anyway now that i know that people seems to be still reading this blog..... my commissioning parade is on the 13th dec .... and YOU are invited ~ =D

I have thought through le.. no matter what.. i shuldnt give up..........................

1,2,3 johnny caught a fish ( or flea ? )

2008-10-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

It is not your fault.... It is my choice to like you... so dun fret over it =D

Well..... then again....................................... YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO KNOW MY BLOG! AHHHH I THOUGH NO ONE KNOW ! THIS IS SO EMBRASSING... T_T ... PRETEND U NEVER SEE ANYTHING BA ~ HAHA

other than that ... Everything's cool ~ Haha

SUNDAY !!!

2008-10-26T01:40:00.000-07:00

Whole body is aching now, arghhh. Didnt sleep much cause had to return to camp at 11pm to be luggage party (AKA go airport carry stores back to camp), only book out today at 7 am.

Yesterday was fun, soccer is always fun. Glad to see the primers peeps once in a awhile, feels like i am back to poly, back to school, back to being a carefree teenager. Today i just feel OLD... think about life, my future, worry bout this and that, wonder what i want, think how poor i am now, how much my back ache, how my life feel colourless no matter what i do. Army make me feel older, probably good in that i started to learn how to be slight more responsible in some parts, learn how to worry and be a pessimistic guy, gone are the days where i simply live my life the way i want, do thing how i like, and just think about the present.

"Thinking bout the future is a good thing, but whats the point of always worrying about the future when today is the time u live in. Dun waste ur time worring bout the future, spend ur time thinkin how to make ur today a better and more fruitful day." Just came out with this, shuld try to remind myself.

Well like i said yesterday i am 21 now, the thought of settling down is starting to come to me. Haha settle as in to seriously think bout having a serious relationship, or at least become more mature. Been partyin too much, club is never a good place to meet ur future partner, seeing how loose some girls are. But somehow it became a place to drown my sorrow, and have fun with my friends.

Thinking of goin back to do volunteer work again, but couldnt get my ass off to start again. Maybe after i commission.....

Saw her yesterday, heart skipped a beat, or two, or three... or probably it just stood still when i see her. Hahaha. Two to three weeks back i was still head and heels over her, smsing her and stuffs, but with a few setbacks i stopped. Abit lame lar, but still i am never a guy brave enough to face rejection or at least try out things i feel wun happen. From the fact she never reply, it was demoralising, plus at least she could have at least reply a simply " sorry, no" or what. Xx and i came to a conclusion aniway, in a relationship, it takes both side to like each other, if one side is not interested at first, why bother ? Even she may fall in love with u if u persist, but it is because u persist or she see how much u love her then she love u, it is not a mutual love for each other from start... Maybe it may seem idealistic to want a relationship where both like each other naturally, but still i think it is possible.

Anyway gotta go, finally my movie finish downloading. HAHAHA. Needa watch all i can cause tmr i wan getting confine in camp T_T

tired.......

2008-10-05T04:57:00.000-07:00

Shagged now... been having flu for the past 3 days ... dun know why it just doesnt go away... my nose feels sore from all the sneezing... Arghhh dying.

Regardless, went for soccer training today, stamina gone down quite abit, probably due to my illness. Injured my foot in the process, didnt realise it till i took my boots off. Haha guess i am too reckless...

My super long break from NS is finally over (3 FULL DAYS !). Gotta book in soon.. sian. Never party or what during these 3 days... spent it chilling with my cousins.. catching up and also went to watch movie with my parents like all good children. HAHA really like spending time with my family.

Aniway cut things short.. time to step up on my pursue le...

new post... finally

2008-10-01T04:39:00.000-07:00

Been like .... 6 months since my last post ? well time to start up this log again le.

Been well so far... went on to armour tankee office training wing which was one of my dream since i came into army, really lucky...anyway lets fast forward to the present.

Today was my off day since it is hari raya and been home the whole day other than goin out for a run. Just watched " A walk to remember" for probably the tenth time, it just never fail to make me moved and sad, well after all it is my favourite movie of all time.

Well got me thinking bout romance and love again, the topic which i had ignored for the past year ever since i got into army. How is love judged by ? the intensity or how long it last ? Issit possible to find one which is lasting and both still love each other deeply ? Well i wouldn't know, since thus far all the relationships i had are just naive and probably don't count as a true love, just a intense passion, a fleeting one. Which is why ever since i just stop jump straight in ......

Just knew that my OCS mate broke up with his girlfriend, their relationship was quite long also. The sadness in his face was apparent for the past two months and he was helping other to take weekend duties, probably to stay in camp... away from his sadness. It is really sad to see others breaking up. Break up just hurt the both parties, both the one who initiated it and the other one.

Recently i finally got the courage and motivation to start know this one girl. It had been put on hold for too long already, as months flew by and OCS had been probably the main obstacle. Seriously, this is probably the first time for the past two years i had realli made an effort to know another girl, probably come as a surprise for most people. Well, definitely for the past one week plus, she really got me crazy. Waiting for her sms in camp, feeling down for the WHOLE day just because she never reply, risking getting 3 confinements by bringing my phone and sms-in her around with my officers conducting spotchecks, staying up way past lights out time to reply her, etc. ALL this sounds stupid and crazy and i have no idea why i am doing all this when probably she wun feel the same. Haha think just take things slow ba... no idea what to do next, how she feels, how to ask her out ( provided i have to courage to actually do it ). Haha if only i can read her mind .......

Gotta go ... time to book in

Been long...

2008-05-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

Been long since i last blogged... few months in fact.. many stuffs changed,many things happened to me; mostly ns stuffs. I managed to snugged the company best award, abit of a surprise to everyone and also to me. No offense to those who really want it, but personally i know through my bmt, i had been actually quite slack, just doing things i had and want to, well, somehow luck smiled on me and i excelled in most of my test, which got me the award. Frankly i didnt felt good when i get it. True, i felt proud to get it in front of my parents, but.... i know i never really work hard for it. Many others deserved this award, not me. It sucks to be in the spotlight too... somehow everyone expect the company best to be superman, it sucks, i really wanted to be normal and chill out in the bulk with my section mates. Any it is over now.

Now i got into OCS, a place where the chosen ones from bmt will come and learn to become an officer. It is certainly tough there. At the beginning i felt really depressed and stuffs. Every morning i will wake up and look forward for my lights out to sleep. Regimentation isnt exactly my best friend, but still i grit my teeth and went on. It is great to have Teng hui, my bmt good mate, with me here. At least i know i am not alone.

Army really just swallow my these few months away. Somehow my everyday seems to be training and training. My social life had remained stagnant all the way. Haha, the outside world is like changing everyday and i still remain the same inside the camp.

i am having a 3 days break now. These few days had been great. i get to stay home watch tv , do the normal things all civilian does and just chill out. Went out to get a few shirts. Life is great. I even went back to NP. It just brought back memories of how it was when i was still a poly student. Everything seems so great then. The noisy canteens... groups of friends walk around.... people doing projects.... i missed all these. Felt great to be in a youthful and relax environment again.

Funny how things seems to be precious once u lose them. Well, how the past seems more beautiful than it actually was. I am grateful for my poly life though. Taught me alot of stuffs. Made alot of friends, some still around, some forgotten, some unforgettable. Met a girl who i so sure that she is the one, but somehow never got the courage to speak up to and now gone forever, met another who i had but just not the one i was looking for. Had a CCA, which changed my life and taught me lessons which are so invaluable and made me friends.

Well enough of all these reflections and stuff... time to look towards the future now. Next next week will be my 2 weeks long field camp (yup no book-out, it will be the forest for the two weeks, no baths ... Woots... i am so screwed) Endure, Excel and Overcome, OCS !

Ns life

2007-12-30T07:30:00.000-08:00

Just got back from tekong. Damn sian, damn tired. Normally everyone is happy on book out day, but looking ahead, i only had one more full day to enjoy before i actually have to go back again, then my outfield is coming soon, something i totally dread, but well, cant do anything bout it.

Aniway, my week was fine in tekong, just that every part of my body seems to ache, esp the muscles in my butt ( cant even walk properly now ). But other than that everything was fine ( Other than the fact i have to join the drill squad, others may think it is pride and honour etc etc, but seriously ! training is tough, i wan my free time to slack ~ =)

On the lighter side of note, for the past few day have been dreaming about someone (Either my bulk is haunted by a female who looked like the someone, OR i have realli been dreaming bout the someone). Aniway, that someone is someone i barely know, not really close with her too, just talk sometimes nia, well duno why i will even dream bout her, but still maybe my bulk is really haunted by a ghost that look like the someone ( Very probable, considering that my company is realli "dirty")

Well, the dreams did get me thinking but well, doubt i will OR can do anything bout it. Aniway new years eve is tmmr, that means my birthday is like 3 days later, which also means i will spend it in tekong, with my dear bunk mates who are mostly fun ppls.... which probably means they will prank me hard on that day.

Anwiay.... life in army is actually quite sian, anyone who needs someone to chat with can always call my hp at 90927980 ( From 9.30 to 10.30 ), free incoming call so u can alway try calling and see if i pick up anot. Strangers feel free to try calling too.... =D.... Ok ... the tiredness is realli getting into my head, i am just typing whatever gibberish i feel like typing ....qwreewfdsfsdafsdafsafsadfsdfasdf wow

2007-12-22T04:12:00.000-08:00

Ok ... i booked out about 3 days ago but not much time to actually come here to record anything. Anyway army is fine, quite slack in fact, my fitness there is not bad already (surprising nowadays Singaporean are more and more slack), however i am not the best either. The is food is not bad actually just abit boring to eat like rice and 3 dish everyday. Pretty much that is all i can type about army, cant realli go into details as it is prohibited. My section mates are all quite nice as well, funny bunch of people.

Anyway good to be back into the world again. Miss everything. So these few days have been practically stuffing myself with all kinds of gathering, movie outing, etc etc. Yesterday met up with my Ex tb04 classmates. Saw her again, still the same as ever. Not sure why, but never realli talk to her also. Probably just glad enough to see her again, now is not really that great of a time to like someone too. Or maybe there just hasnt been anyone for me to like.

Enough bout her though, continue with my past few days of adventure. Once i reached the pasir ris mrt from tekong, met up with my parents and sis to go out eat and watch movie, the national treasure, nice movie ( Could be nicer if i wasnt still wearing my army uniform ). Aniway after that went home to drop dead on the bed( apparently the army bed feel nicer that the one i have home, but i was too tired to bother). Aniway woke up to rush again to meet xx to shop around b4 goin off to play some field soccer till night, then eat with the maroon gang. Go home and BANG onto the bed again.

Yesterday, finally got the urgency to go train abit, so meet up with alex to go gym followed by meeting up with ber, emily and peijun to watch Alvin and the chipmunks ( Great movie, cute and funny, theodore is especially cute ). After the movie went on to meet with up the tb04 ppl for some dinner at bugis and cathing up. Nice to see them all again. But it is still abit werid though ( cant tell what isit though )

Today, finally took time to go buy my army stuffs and shop around with my family, as for now, i gotta go off again ... to watch movie le... ciao

NS

2007-12-05T09:26:00.000-08:00

6 more hours to "checking in" to tekong. This will be my last post b4 i go in NS. Anyway had a fun day to, glad to see everyone again b4 going in. Surprised to see Patricia, been a long time since i last saw you. Anyway too tired to type much, let the photos do the talking instead ba.

Thank You everyone who came or those who text me bidding farewell. Anyway it is just NS, will still see you all in the future.
Like to say thank you again , even though most probably wun even see this since i had never really told much ppl oso. HAHA

Lalala

2007-12-05T05:43:00.000-08:00

It is THAT time of the day again ! 5 in the morning stuck with my laptop on my bed and cant fall asleep...... man .... i gonna miss these times when i am in army...

My mum is getting more and more paranoid nowadays now that i am goin army. I can already foresee her bursting into tears when she is sending me in ... awkward.... but she is my mum and i love her alot despite all the bickers we have ( argument is a more apt word but bickers makes it nicer ). She was warning me about seeing "dirty" things in the camp a few days ago, still telling me stories bout army she heard from her friend who heard from another friend in the market. I mean if i see anything ... most likely i CANT do anything (other than run of course, but seriously..... playing catching with ghost isnt exactly that fun), so whats the point of worrying.

Well my mum aside, today was a chill out day for me. Met alex in the afternoon for gym, i was about an hour late (Even though the gym is just 5 mins walk away), it was all due to the fact that my bed refuses to let me leave the house, apparently it seems to know that i am goin army soon and wants me to spend more time with it. Haha, the lousy reason aside, alex was not really angry also. We did our usual stuffs and head out to J8 for our meal.

Managed to convince the pizza hut staff that i am still a student despite my bald army style hair and had a nice student set lunch. Chat about all kinds of things, ranging from, our christmas plans, new year plans, my coming bday plans, our holiday plans, soccer plans, future plans, etc etc.

Quite frightening, this whole concept of growing up, but this is what makes an adult life interesting. There is no telling what will happen in the future but because of this my dream can have no limits, and whether i can achieve this dream will be dependent on me. Time to stop thinking that allowance every week is a given,life out there isn't that nice. To succeed, it is no longer bout reading up textbooks and writing notes, it will be the amount of hardwork and persevering through even the toughest time. Probably life wun be this boring after this. Time for me to actually takes steps towards my dream.

Sian

2007-12-04T05:07:00.000-08:00

I cant fall asleep !!!!....

Too much goin on my head, well it is not army if thats what u are thinking ...... ok maybe partially army, but right now, i kinda want to go in.

Well last two days le.... So many stuffs i still want to do....... like :

1. Play game
2. Watch another movie
3. Forget the Jumeng storyline so that i can watch it again
4. Sit in the toilet and etch it into my brain.. cuz i will probably miss it once i go army
5. Go my aunt hse and fix her com ( Not realli want to do, more of something i have to do )
6. Feel the air con one more time ( Same reason as 4 )
7. Go see frens which i haven seen in some time ( Oh No ... i forgotten bout my promise to Saihah)
8. Watch finish Heroes Season One
9. Play soccer
10. Repeat everything from 1 onwards again ( ok... minus part 5 )

Woots

2007-12-03T22:25:00.000-08:00

Finally made my blog look nicer... well orange is exactly my favourite colour though, but what the heck...it still looks nice. Hard to navigate though... will change when i see something which catch my eyes nxt time then

Finally i FINISHED Jumong ! Days of hardwork finally comes down to today. Great ending.... funny how korean series are so addictive.

Meaningful quote part 1

2007-12-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

"If you put your happiness in temporary things, your happiness will be temporary"
- Nick Vujicic

Went to church service today, the quote above was by the motivational speaker, Nick Vujicic. Find this quote very true and meaningful. Don't want to forget it so type it down first.

Anyway, right now too busy watching Jumong VCD le, tmmr then type more. Hahahaha

I am hot ......

2007-12-03T00:12:00.000-08:00

Time check : Quite late...Shuld be past midnite.
Temperature check : Feels quite hot, could be fever could be high fever ...
Tissue Statues: Running out of them, lazy to move out of my sofa to get more .....
Personal Statues: Cant stop...watching... Jumong... 40 episodes down 42 to go.... Want more.........

On a side note.... my bald head isnt helping the situation at all... still so hot even so hair... on air con oso useless....... EVEN worse... alvin commented that i look like crayon shin chan ..... WTH..... Hair grow back ba......haha

Mirrors...

2007-11-28T01:32:00.000-08:00

Starting to detest mirrors nowadays ..... they remind me of my baldness... haha. Shaving bald was a more frightening thing now that i have actually done it. Well thinking back i was still laughing when that guy mercilessly shave out all my hair. Now that everything is gone.... i wonder how long it will take to grow them ba... Hopefully they will grow faster if i water them or massage them.

Cant get used to the cooling breeze i feel now, cant get used to the speed i wash my hair now and cant get used to the stranger i see in the mirror and in my shadows. Guess it is the self confidence ba, it has been gone together with the hair...

Hair is important, cherish it while it is still there. Haha anyway, for now, my cap and beanie is my very best frens le.

By the way, on a special note of mention, my sweet lil sis actually bought my a cap the day before i went to shave bald. It is a nice looking puma cap, but really, it helped me forget my baldness by a little. Thanks Sis. Next time IF you cut bald... i will buy one nice cap for u too =D

SGB

2007-11-26T12:25:00.000-08:00

Had a VERY tiring days doing SGB a few days ago....

Everything started on friday. The day started off with me meeting up with alex for our regluar gym sessions. As usual, after the gym session, we went for lunch and then continued our mad training sessions and do our swimming. My actual plan was to go swimming and then go home for a short rest before heading off to school again. But life with alex probably means that plans don't actually work out the way it is suppose to be. After the swimming session, he convinced me to meet up with the rest of the maroon gang as we head over to a street soccer for a "short" game of soccer.

The game happened to be everything but short as i got stuck there before i realised that i still have to go school. So i hurried home to change and immediately went to school straight. The meeting was already halfway when i reached and i was already too tired to do anything. Well sumhow the night seems to drag on and finally went on to sleep at about 4 am.

Day 2

Woke up at 6.30, then went to KAP mac with bernice and jennifer to meet wen wei for breakfast. Still feeling tired, the morning started to chaotic after we went back to NP before the briefing starts, i keep shuttling between the Nyp and Sp people to brief some of them or answer some of their question. Well i secretly wished that i could just stay and catch up with diana sharon and fenella, been awhile since we last saw each other. Aniway after everyone is well and briefed bout what is goin on. We moved off to do our external collection as i was in the bus with the SP people. Never expected the bus driver to not know his way as we found ourself stranded somewhere in singapore. Everything worked out for the better as a girl came out to guide us back to bukit panjang.

Left the Sp ppl after we reached to join my group. My group leader is fang yi and morgan, never talked to them much prior to this, but got to noe them better after this. Anyway, the tiring day continued as i moved my aching muscle through the night. The night or sorting was rough though being tired and all. Aniway managed to fall asleep with no problems in the end.

Day 3

Finally the day of delivery, always the nicest of the 3 days, the result of all the hardwork and effort. This time round was abit special. My sis, Wei xia and me was in the green sector, so we were pretty much on our own as we travel with five other cars to do delivery to own sector. The cars we travelled with was amazing, did show me the perks of being a Rich adult, haha. Wish to own a car like they have. Aniway back to the main topic. Saw the same scenes which is i witness last year, the loneliness of some of them, the wasted conditions they lived in and some, i see, had already lost the will to live. With our limited abilities, there are only this much we can do, but somehow, i really want to go beyond and help them abit more.

After the delivery was done, we went on to the headquarter of volkswagen to have our reception. Everyone were pretty much well-stretched by now. And so my sis and mi left to the sweetness of our beds at home...

Regrets...

2007-11-15T01:02:00.000-08:00

As much as i have many regrets in life, probably the worst which always haunt me would be the fact that i liked this girl who i met on the very first day of my poly student life. She is not the prettiest of the bunch neither the brightest ( Well but still she is the second prettiest and the second top scorer in class HAHA), but actually what really caught my attention was how she can smile so brightly and in a very gentle manner, and the way she can be so crappy but still the quiet type at the same time.

I liked her the first time i seen her, but it got worse as i become more and more siao as time goes. I think i suffer from some kind of boy school disease, which render me speechless everytime she was around. I think everyday the only thing i can muster out would be " Good Morning " and " Bye Bye". All i did was just admire her from afar.

Being my useless and " Dun even dare to look at her properly" self, i went on to admire for bout one semester before I started to make my move..... Talk to her on msn.... hahahahah..... it was really a major step for me. Everything went quite well, as we became closer as frens but just frens. Somehow i never dared to do anything more, never asked her out, never told her of my feelings.

Everything came to an end when i got together with my Ex. I stopped thinking bout her for about a good 8 months before she came back to haunt me again. Well this story never really have a ending at all, just about a guy who lack the guts and courage to do anything. Enough about how lame i was. This chapter may still continue though, i just met her again today at school during SGB collection, it was a stroke of luck, she is now in SMU coming back to revise and me, just helping out in SGB walking around the canteen. She looks better nowadays, but still too early to tell if i still feel anything, probably not though ..... All these feeligns shuld just belong to the past.

Last Day at Sentosa

2007-11-14T02:34:00.000-08:00

Today was my last day working in Sentosa, like every parting it felt sour in the heart. Six months of working at this place had given me plenty of memories and many frens are made there. However as much as i love working in Sentosa, some things dun last forever. The day started off normally, until i came to work.

Responses like " Wah so fast ur last day le, will miss u" " Remember to stay in contact " " Don't forget us " keeps popping out, all these which i have no reply to, hard to actually assure them that i will still keep in contact, nothing has changed, when in actual fact for all the parting i had so far in my life, most of them resulted in becoming strangers at the end. As much as i want to always be with them, stay in contact, i know that as times go, feelings dilute and probably we wun even have common topics to talk about anymore.

Anyway, even through all these, i tried to get on with my last day as per normal. Carmen was nice to actually walk me up to imbiah bunkers though, probably to abstract some informations from me, but it is a bit awkward that everyone get the wrong idea that i am interested in her or we have something on.

No offense to carmen, as much as she is pretty and such, maybe she is abit too ah lian and she smokes, and not those type i like.... haha . Nonetheless i pretty much know who is the actual one she likes . Well this is the least to my problems.

It is quite sad to actually make the parting speech and all, abit lost for words. Probably abit rude too for not saying bye to those who werent working on that day. I have to say thanks to those at the snacks bar for giving me bout 3 bags worth of popcorns. Thanks for the parting gift.... I wun forgot SOS and the fun i had.... this much is what i can promise.

TO NOTE : Must remember to go back to meet saihah... and watch SOS one last time.

Sgb Internal Collection

2007-11-13T02:53:00.000-08:00

It is that time of the year AGAIN ! time to be a little thick skin and start going around to ask for donations. Decided to go down to NP to help out for the internal collection, quite some time never actually seen primers people. Well this is the third year i had done SGB, from helping out in internal program sub-com, to heading the publicity department and finally now, a old guy who is just there to see see look look AND to help out of course.....

Went down for the opening ceremony, well it may not be grand, but truthfully it is more important to collect more for the needy, rather than make an elaborate opening. Collection itself werent much of a problem, some of the freshies are very hardworking reminding me of the wan yan wei ting and pei jun trio who were also as hardworking the year before .....

As much as problems seems to be brewing between the new advisor and the exco, it is also important not to strain any relationships as it is. Well this trouble aside, it was a good start for many to come, will probably be going to help out for the following days to come.

Sentosa with primers

2007-10-28T01:41:00.000-07:00

As usual the hardest and greatest obstacle of the day was the part where i have to drag myself up. But after that it was smooth sailing ever since. Met up the primers ppl with my sis for lunch before the start of the amazing race game. The game was quite fun, but the highlight of the day was still the beach outing for the remaining of the day as we played beach volleyball . It was fun, tiring of course, so tired that i felt asleep when i went to watch movie with my parents and my sister.

Primers events have alway been fun regardless of what we do and what happen. Sometimes the process is more important than the result. It is always important to have fun at times, regardless if the event is a success, the build up to it, the lessons we learn from it is just as important. Random gibberish to store my thoughts....

Aniway too tired now, tired from tryin to dig the sand bits out of my toe nails .... hahahah

My Ex.

2007-10-01T05:57:00.000-07:00

Just woke up from a dream bout my Ex. Fun how i suddenly just dream bout her after not seeing her for bout a year long. Guess i should at least write down what i still remember bout our relationship before time distorts my memory.......

I met her at BAoc, back then i was a senior buddy in charge of her class and she was just one of the many girls in the class. I guess being a as much blur-cock as i always was i didnt really remember her ( her name too ) until an accident happened.

BAoc just ended and everyone was making their way to KAP mac, on the journey, she had a really bad sprain and cant really walk, well being a very good leader, i decided to carry her to KAP, guess my fitness was quite bad then, carry a 43 kg girl was enough to make me breathless and feel like dying. Nonetheless i still had to keep a straight face, pretend to be very strong and thank god it isnt the other heavier girl which sprain her ankle. I even carried her home after that (Ok it is more like carry her and hail a cab to send her home haha).

Anyway subsequently we kept in contact and on one occasion, we went out to get a present for my another freshie's bday. Our relationship became closer as days go, but well, still being as shy as ever, i never really did anything. Ok ... minus the couple of times , my good frens alvin and kendrick force me up a bus to send her home. I was rather afraid to take first step( as usual, i think Boy school guys are like this ).

Many things happened along the way ( Cant remb wat are they though, thats what one year of not thinking bout it does to me ) and on a eventful, sensing that she is quite pissed i never clarify and say anything bout whats up with us , i decided to mount all my courage to tell her i like her. Apparently mounting all my courage took bout half an hour as i mumble and stammered and changed topic throughout the course of the half an hour while she still sat there try to comprehend what i am saying. At last the words came out and she never really said anything ( Or probably she did, but i cant remember. ) One week later ( Or a few days ) we are together .

We were together for 8 months before we broke up. As for what happened in the course, you will have to ask me yourself, unless u already knew. ( This was just recently added, there used to be a proper account of what happened, but since this blog is goin public, i guess, it is still better to be taken out. )

Sis Present

2007-09-25T12:17:00.000-07:00

Went out with with Carmen, Justin, Sophia, Pang how and Rhea today. Planned to get my sis her birthday present and it turns out to be a havaianas sandals. Blew a hole in my wallet for it, but nonetheless satisfying. Haha, She better buy me something better for my bday next year WAHAH.. Kidding.

Well as long as she is happy with the present can liao ba actually, didnt noe it is so troublesome to get a girl a pair of sandals. Anyway turn out to be quite an awkward outing as pang how and rhea seem so much like a lovey dovey couple all the while.

Everything become normal when they left. Stay with Carmen and Sophia as we went to play pool, follow by chilling out at yoshinoya ( Ok not exactly chilling out, more like gossiping ).

Anyway it was a strange day as it is, but all that matters is that i go t my sis a present. Next.... dad's birthday....

2007-09-20T12:17:00.000-07:00

Touching story

2007-09-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection.. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball ... The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

Looking back.....

2007-08-27T15:42:00.000-07:00

It was spring cleaning for me today, well most people would call it cleaning up their bedroom, but due the rarity of this event and the amount of mess, i would call it spring cleaning.....

Anyway, while ransacking through boxes sorting through all kinds of rubbish ( i would like to call them memories but well my mum will label them as rubbish ) i came across this particular photo taken a few years back, the Maroon in underwear photo .... it was taken after our usual Saturday soccer session in SMU, all of us squeezed into a cubicle and proud exposing our underwear in a manly photo, it did bring me lots of smile when i seen this photo.

We are as close as can be, after all 4 to 6 years of being stuck in the same school and all those evening soccer we had together, it is hard not to. Even if the team name Maroon is just taken out of the colour of the favourite street soccer shoe which we all liked, i pretty much liked the name....

Maroon consisted of the few regulars, Alex Xx Sek and Me ..... well there are other people but we four are the consistent few. I met alex in Pri 4 where he just came crashing into my class from another school. We probably started off at the wrong foot, or just that our personality were too different to be good frens from the start. Countless incidents and competition occurred between the both of us thru our primary school years all the till secondary4, but soccer made us good frens. I have been cheated by him on many occasions, him being a frequent liar, one of the worse is when he managed to convince me that poly is the right destination for us with a brighter future than AJC , the JC which i then wanted to go to ( He also convinced me that business course is flooded with girls ). Then i abandoned my JC dream and went into poly with him and XX. Sadly he ps-ed me in my second year as he left poly to go JC ( probably cuz his grades in poly werent as good HAHA). Nonetheless being a poly dropout, he is still one of my best pal.....

Xx, my best pal ( Until charlotte came into the picture as a THIRD party, too bad i am in no position to fight with a german "chick" )( Probably have to wait for them to break up, just like how they wait for me to break up HAHAHA ) We met in sec 1, then he was a quiet guy, always a Mr nice guy until now, the first time we met was during a camp where both of us had a maiden fight with each other, how the fight start, i cant really remb but i think i hit the wrong guy or something, anyway everything was in the heat of a moment and we were young and stupid then.... blah blah fate brought us together and TA DAH ! best pals now....

Sek, we were destined to be frens since primary 4, sharing a common curiosity bout the female physique then, we are alway seated at the back of class polluting each other's mind with knowledge acquired through books or rumors ( i alway felt that it is him polluting my mind but he alway claim otherwise so giving him the benefit of doubt i will say we pollute each other ). Those days where we spend our Chinese remedials talking at the back of the class bout pamela anderson, spice girls, man .... miss those days ...HAHA ( miss those days... not the topics )

Well, funny how fate let u become best frens with people u cant imagine, just glad that i met them and they will be my best pal regardless. Time to go out meet alex to go gym le ... ciao

A normal day's routine...

2007-08-20T06:20:00.000-07:00

12 pm : Wake up briefly.... will manage to drag myself from my room to my parents room, before falling asleep again...

12.30 pm : Really up by now, drag myself to the toilet to brush my teeth, wash up, and slumber into my mum's bed again for my second nap.

1 pm : Confirm up already, move off to find breakfast, stare into space and wonder which day of the week issit today.

1.30 pm : Finally realise the day, engine begin to start as i on the tv and sink into the sofa channel surf.

2.30 pm : Feeling satisfied, i move on to my com now as i alternate between my tv and com.

3.30 pm : Start feeling hungry and start searching for lunch.

4 pm: Finished up my lunch and go bath to prepare for work.

4.30 pm : Left house only to forgot to bring something resultin in me come back home again.

5 pm: Confirm out of house this time.

5.45 pm: Reach sentosa work place. Say Hi, crap around, iron shirt, gossip, joke, play psp, tease each other, scold each other.

6 pm: start work

11pm: Go Supper

12.30 am: Reach Home

1 am: Go jogging

1.30 am : Crawl my way home half dead. Wash up

2 am : On TV and proceed my mission coach potatoe.

3 am : Play game, msn, day dream, watch anime, etc etc

5 am : Fall Asleep

Beach outing !

2007-08-17T03:20:00.000-07:00

The day kicked off with me dragging myself out of the bed before i realised that i slept till the appointed meeting 10 A.m. Well with that sense of urgency knocked into my head, i immediately woke up to chiong to harbourfront, despite all the countless obstacle ( the countless traffic lights, pretty girls walking pass me, etc ), i managed to make my way to harbourfront just about an hour late. However despite my heroic and admirable achievement, the SOS peeps decided that it is a tad bit too late to continue waiting for me, so i had to go to Siloso beach to meet them instead.

The sun was great and and sand could have felt great too if not for the blistering heat it transmit to my feet. It was actually the first time i played beach volleyball, but motivated by the fact that i cant look noob in front of the numerous girls watching us play, my natural volleyball talent stepped in WAHAHA, well ok, truthfully i played not bad for a beginner, at least i don't seem noob. It was a fun day really, being surrounded by lots of pretty girls in bikinis, it is hard not to be a fun day.

The day took an interesting turn when a group of hunky guys came to challenge us ( and also to chat up the girls from SOS ). Being a great sport we accepted the challenge and proceed to teach them a lesson in HOW TO PLAY BEACH VOLLEYBALL..after the humiliating defeat they decided to try to win off the court by chatting up with the SOS girl but their advances were rejected , Hurray SOS guy 2 Hunky guys 0. After this rousing victory we went on to fill our stomachs and then off to work we go at 5.30 ....

NDP

2007-08-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

Recap of how i spent my national day....

Prior to the national day i have been spending some Saturdays with the primers bunch rehearsing as motivators. It was relatively fun, but somehow as i drew comparisons with the NDP last year it was abit sian, the location may have played a part, no offense to the floating platform, this feeling can never be the same as to stepping into the national stadium, large space and historical feel. Another reason for the turn-off could probably be to costume and the unappreciative public who just dun understand how it feels to wear a costume under the hot sun. It doesnt realli feel that great to be a cross between a chicken and a crab... but trainings were rather fun nonetheless. haha

Me and alex (primer's alex... not best pal alex) agreed to pon the actual day of ndp, well my frens wanted to meet up and be patriotic for once and celebrate our nation's birthday, having to make a tough choice between wearing the chicken crab costume and a feast with my close frens, i reluctantly chose the latter.

We met up in suntec and had our dinner in fish and co while watching the whole parade on TV, it does seems alot nicer to view it on tv rather than sweating out in a costume. After the whole parade we went off to marina square to find something to do. Well i managed to avoid getting caught by primers ppl and met up with my sis b4 making my way home with probably thousands of singaporeans tryin to get home at the same time.

D&D

2007-07-24T23:25:00.000-07:00

Went to primers' D&D recently, was fun met several people who i haven seen in a long time, saw many pretty girls and handsome guy ( notice it is in singular form, well cause i only see him every time i look into the mirror HAHA ).

Anyway prep work for d&d was rather tough, imagine having two guys stuck with me in the dressing room and having to constantly try on different kinds of shirts xx and alex chose for me, most i have to say are rather peculiar, i wun be surprise to find them in the women's department. Managed to find a shirt which i want, however it did left me quite empty in the bank...

Fast forward to the actual day of D&D. Was in my grandma's house in the morning, but meet up with patricia towards the evening as my dad drove all of us to the D&D. Patricia looked her usual pretty self even after not seeing her for bout half a year.

The programs of D&D were interesting and the food were great. Managed to catch up with several ppl and the night was wrapped off with everyone tired but full. Did i also mentioned that me and my sis snagged the best dance award too ? Well with such great understanding between the two of us forged with 17 years of sibling-ship, it is cheating when we actually paired together... haha. Well after this hope to see all of them soon again.....

Working in sentosa

2007-07-10T13:16:00.000-07:00

Been busy working alot in sentosa of a while now, now that i am bonded with everyone, it seems alot more enjoyable to go to work everyday. Sentosa people are fun to be with actually great crapping partner and everyone are quite bond with frequently beach outing. They do remind me alot bout primers people sometimes....if only they pay more than 5.40 per hour... it wuld be a dream job...

Sian .....

2007-07-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

woke up and spent my whole afternoon alone at home.... basically running out of things to do, i even have to resort to counting my leg hair.................... man the noon sun is so HOT ~...... the tv have nothing nice on....... siannnnnnnnnnnnnnn..........................................

Army

2007-06-25T00:55:00.000-07:00

Man.. this really sucks, my frens are all finally getting ready to go army or is in army already, while i am still stuck here working part-time and doin nothing with my life. Well cant realli do anything bout it though, so just enjoy my freedom while i still have it.

A few days ago just had a farewell party for XiuXing, well not sure why we had a farewell party even though we will still most probably meet up every weekend when he is out but still, you should party for whatever reason u have isn't it. Just a few good frens chilling out and doing some lame stuffs is a pretty good way to spend our Saturday. Haha.

Fast forward to a few days later, we the same few bunch was off to send Xx to Tekong. It is pretty amazing that we carried over our maroon spirit to always be late even to this event where Xx was late for the enlistment by 30 mins or 1 hr ( Cant remember which one ). I must say NSF did a pretty good job making parents who came to sent their sons off to serve the nation feel good, after all the deco of the camp and facilities put Ngee Ann poly to shame, and the lunch they served was pretty good. Even the school commandant looks so friendly that i wun hesitate to ask him to scratch my back, nonetheless it was a sad parting, at least for charlotte and Xx when everything is over ( Come on... i am not so gay as to miss him even if he is my best pal ).

Seeing their parting did make me felt a tingle of jealousness, i mean, if i were to leave for army, will i have a gf to send me off? Some girl to miss me? Haha well it is selfish to think so, but nonetheless, isn't that what all guy will hope for? After all the talks for not wanting a girlfriend when i go army so as to prevent a conflict and longing, do i really mean it? i am not too sure about it ..................... but whats the use of thinking so much when i haven met a girl which i like. Haha.. Well wait till that actually happen before i worry ba....

Ok Xx i admit, i miss u a little bit already, i mean , who should i find to go shop for my boxers.... if only u are around ... hahahahaha

VSA

2007-06-10T01:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, here comes, my first real post....

VSA ( Very Special Arts ) is a volunteer service which help mentally challenged people through the use of arts. I join this group bout 4 months back with my pals xx and alex. At the first thought, i always thought of volunteer service group to be quite big with many people in it, but when i went for the first lesson, it had proven me wrong. It is just managed but four adults who have the passion to help others and the "kids" aren't exactly all children, some of them are near adult stage like me. Seeing their parents bring them to the class and how worried some of them are peeping through the small little window during the lesson made me thought bout alot of stuffs like the constant struggles of the parents of these kids, having to give their fullest attention to them, worrying bout their future, etc. If i were in their shoe, i will be pretty lost.

Some of the kids are pretty much normal with a shorter attention span or just a young adult with a small children's intellect. The normal serious case kids are those who cant talk or talk in gibberish or simply dun understand anything. Our job there was basically to guide them and be their friend. 4 months of doing this have made me close with some of the kids, many of them had learnt how to say my name ( my first lesson to them is to made them learn how to say my name haha ), aniway i always thought that what i have been doing is quite meaningful teaching them stuffs and all, but as 4 months have already passed, other than my name, they never seem to have made any improvements. All my dreams of helping them to become independent or someone capable to take care of himself or herself seems distant and impossible, maybe i hoped too much at the beginning, maybe it isn't possible at all, or maybe there is something wrong with us. Well, i guess we are pretty much powerless to help them sometimes as god have made everyone to be different but there will be a purpose for them nonetheless.

On the bright side, there are some things which made me think i didn't waste my time it will be the frenship forged between the volunteers and the kids. Like how they will call our name when we come in for the lesson, or how they dun wan to start the lesson until we come, or making a drawing of some unknown stuffs for us. Well, so i think lets just enjoy and have fun for this moment, as for the future, it can wait....

Cant think of a title.....

2007-06-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Hello, this is the first post.... but i cant realli think of the content as well as the title, so this is pretty much all i can write to fill up the first post. i am not too sure if the first post is suppose to be very significant or wat, but well just felt like it is abit weird to start writing everything in the first isn't it. So i guess crapping in my first post seems to be a more logical choice. i just realised i wasted ten minutes of my life do this meaningless stuff of thinking wat to write for my first post and i actually type out PURE crap in it .... oh man .... sorry for wasting ur time reading this, haha